By Kat Giantis

One Small Peep for Man, One Giant Peep for Mankind: Life used to be a lot easier for Kim Kardashian. A well-timed sex tape here, a derriere-emphasizing dress there and all eyes would be on her. Now, with one sister about to give birth to a poopie-pantsed publicity magnet and the other in a ticking time bomb of a marriage, the attention is suddenly a little harder to come by. What's a beautiful starlet with few real-world skills but a Jell-O-on-springs body to do? Bring out the big guns, of course. And by guns, we mean torpedoes. Kim swaddles one in a nursing wrap that she swiped from Kourtney's baby shower and considerately covers the other in a black bar that renders it safe for work. That is, if you consider posing intensely in front of a vodka-sponsored backdrop work. Which she does.

By Kat Giantis

Photos: Kim Kardashian