By Kat Giantis

The Nay of All Flesh: Some day, Jennifer Lopez will reflect on the final moments of 2009 and wonder, "Why didn't anyone tell me I looked like a Bedazzled Ken doll?" Not that she would have listened. Right now, what J.Lo wants is a comeback, and she's willing to do whatever it takes to reclaim her former glory. That includes strutting around in a gender-neutralizing nude bodysuit on "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve." Never mind that the molasses-thick fabric morphed her phenomenal post-twins figure into a shape not unlike a star-bellied Sneetch crossed with a crystal-encrusted Butterball (to quote her immortal line from "Gigli": "Gobble, Gobble. It's turkey time!"). Attention is what the 40-year-old Lopez craves above all, and if she has to screech out pop songs in a fleshy, wrinkly but miraculously camel-toe-free adult onesie on live TV in order to get it, then that's what she'll do. Keep clicking for further evidence that J.Lo is unwisely adopting the catsuit as her signature sartorial statement ...

By Kat Giantis

By Kat Giantis

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